Oct. 26, 2025

Paw Prints on Our Hearts: Navigating Pet Loss and Love with Ami King

Have you ever wondered about the profound impact pets can have on our lives when navigating pet loss? In this heartwarming episode, Julie sits down with Amy King, a fellow animal lover and writer, to explore the joys and challenges of pet ownership. Amy shares her journey from childhood fish tanks to adopting rescue dogs with complex needs. We discuss the emotional rollercoaster of caring for pets with health issues and the bittersweet experience of saying goodbye to our furry companions. Key takeaways...

Have you ever wondered about the profound impact pets can have on our lives? In this heartwarming episode, Julie sits down with Amy King, a fellow animal lover and writer, to explore the joys and challenges of pet ownership.

Amy shares her journey from childhood fish tanks to adopting rescue dogs with complex needs. We discuss the emotional rollercoaster of caring for pets with health issues and the bittersweet experience of saying goodbye to our furry companions.

Key takeaways for pet parents:

  • The importance of being observant and in tune with your pet's behavior
  • Coping strategies for dealing with pet loss and grief
  • Why it's crucial to give yourself grace during the grieving process
  • The value of adopting from reputable animal welfare organizations

We also spotlight the Arizona Animal Welfare League and their fantastic work in matching pets with loving homes.

Ami King is a former higher ed instructor who wanted to do something creative and turned to writing and telling stories. Ami writes historical western romance novels with a mix of mystery, intrigue, and, well, romance. There's also a funny animal or two. Ami is married with 2 college aged boys, a koi pond and her ride or die dog, Finnegan. To learn more about Ami King, check out her Website, follow her on Facebook or Instagram.

Mikko's Choice is a small woman owned business born out of a desire to improve animal health and wellness. Mikko's Choice is proud to offer high quality CBD products for all animals--great and small. The products were created using backgrounds in animal science and the cannabis industry to bring some of the most potent formulations to the market--leading to better results for your beloved pet. Use code storyofmypet to get 15% off your purchase.

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Loved this episode? Leave a review and rating here

00:00 - Growing Up With Fish, Not Fur

03:08 - Adopting A Fearful First Dog

06:25 - Anxiety, Training, And Safety

10:50 - Valley Fever And Hidden Health Risks

14:45 - Planning For Medical What Ifs

19:46 - Grief, Guilt, And Letting Go

23:56 - When One Pet Remains

27:16 - Pets Sense Our Feelings

31:06 - Writing Animals Into Fiction

34:26 - Personality Quirks That Inspire Stories

WEBVTT

00:00:05.919 --> 00:00:08.720
Hello, my friends and fellow animal lovers.

00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:12.400
Welcome to a new episode of the Story of My Pet Podcast.

00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:16.559
I am very happy to welcome my guest, Amy King.

00:00:16.719 --> 00:00:19.120
Amy, thank you so much for being here.

00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:20.719
Thanks for having me.

00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:24.879
Recently we bonded over our shared love of our pets.

00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:35.759
Amy, before we get into all the things, like I always say, I like to start off with: have you always been an animal lover and did you have pets growing up?

00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:38.799
And yes, I've always been an animal lover.

00:00:39.119 --> 00:00:45.039
I didn't get pets until I was 10 or something like that.

00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:48.880
We wore my mom down and finally she let us get fish.

00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:54.479
Because my dad was allergic to cats, and I'm allergic to dogs, even though I have dogs.

00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:58.799
But I just grew up with really bad eczema, and she was just very weird about that.

00:00:58.880 --> 00:00:59.439
You know what I mean?

00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:15.519
So we had a tank of goldfish, and we had a tank of tropical, and that was really very interesting because we got to see our black mollies give birth a couple of times, and our scissor fish.

00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:16.959
It was very fascinating.

00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:18.640
Yeah, it was really cool.

00:01:18.959 --> 00:01:31.120
You know, I was just talking to a potential guest for this podcast, and she has a dog daycare and does behavioral things, and we were venting about what people do and don't do with their pets.

00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:40.799
And one of the things I said is what I've learned through all of this is a lot of what my experience has been, I think I sometimes assume other people have had it too, right?

00:01:40.959 --> 00:01:49.040
So I think with animals, sometimes we realize, oh, well, if you hadn't had a pet like this before, you don't know how they behave or how they should and all of that.

00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:57.120
So I love that you're talking about these fish and that the experience you guys got to have was seeing births and seeing them grow up.

00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:05.599
So it sounds like you wore your mom down and got to, you know, experience some fun things as a kid because of your fish.

00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:07.359
Yeah, yeah.

00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:23.360
It wasn't a puppy or a kitty, but still it was it was in its own way because then it became like a family thing because we would go to the fish store and we would learn about all the different fish, and it did turn into this giant project.

00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:26.319
Once you get one, it turns into the whole thing.

00:02:26.639 --> 00:02:27.039
I know.

00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:28.479
I think my mom was sorry.

00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:31.120
Yeah, then in on that.

00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:36.560
But yeah, we had tanks for quite a few years, and and then she said no more.

00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:38.639
So that was the end of it.

00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:44.319
So then at what point did you decide to get a dog or to get your first pet?

00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:46.719
Oh, now that's an interesting story.

00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:52.879
So I my husband and I were dating, and he got a job down in Arizona.

00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:55.759
It was training, and it was supposed to be a five-year gig.

00:02:55.840 --> 00:03:01.840
And so our first year, we moved down together, and our first year we lived in an apartment.

00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:12.800
And when we moved into our house, somebody I worked with kept telling me stories about this dog that she had gotten from her sister.

00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:19.840
And this dog, she presented as Belgian Malinois, but she had like a little bit of keda, it looked like in her.

00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:23.599
She was a small, 45-pound dog, terrified, terrified.

00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:28.639
She had been to four homes by the time she was a year old, and we were the fourth.

00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:32.800
And that doesn't help with their anxiety being moved around that much.

00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:34.400
No, no.

00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:47.360
And I think that was harder for this dog is that the sister had adopted it from the pound and thought that it would make a great dog for her husband, who was a police officer at the time.

00:03:47.520 --> 00:03:51.599
So he trained that dog because he worked canine and he worked undercover.

00:03:51.759 --> 00:03:54.879
He trained this dog in very strict police ways.

00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:58.080
And because she had been abused, it didn't work out so well.

00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:02.240
I ended up with a dog because the dog was going to go to the pound.

00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:06.719
And I was like, wait a minute, don't you take the dog?

00:04:06.879 --> 00:04:08.560
I kind of had fallen in love with this dog.

00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:14.000
And for a first-time dog owner, that was just not really the dog I should have been bringing home.

00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:18.079
But fortunately, my husband had grown up with golden retrievers.

00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:20.160
So I convinced him to go look at this dog.

00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:21.920
Come on, please go look at this dog.

00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:23.600
She's gonna go back to the pound.

00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:25.120
Sad story, tears.

00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:25.759
We go out.

00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:28.800
The next thing you know, we're driving home with this dog.

00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:32.000
And so that that's our first dog.

00:04:32.079 --> 00:04:34.240
And she was terrified of everything.

00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:38.720
And she warmed up to us, but she was super super afraid.

00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:42.240
She left my husband, but she was super afraid of any other man.

00:04:42.639 --> 00:04:54.720
And very specific kind of things, like if you wore tank tops, if you had a stick, it was, and if you were older, like she was she wouldn't go near a person that hit those kind of criteria.

00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:56.720
So that was our first dog.

00:04:56.959 --> 00:05:03.759
And we had a pair of rescues after her, and then another pair of rescues after them.

00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:08.000
And one just recently passed, but we still have one of the pair.

00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:19.680
Should the pair I love that story because I have met so many people who have adopted the first time and ended up with an animal of some type of behavior issue.

00:05:19.839 --> 00:05:25.759
Either they put in the work and it works out, and you do whatever you need for the animal, or they're like, oh, this is too much work.

00:05:25.839 --> 00:05:26.639
I can't do it.

00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:29.920
And that's a lot of what ends up in the shelter, right?

00:05:30.240 --> 00:05:33.759
Dogs and cats that need a little extra.

00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:36.720
Now, I want everyone to realize all animals need that.

00:05:36.879 --> 00:05:42.160
No animal is going to be brought into a brand new environment, new people, new animals, and be like, sure, let's have fun.

00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:45.439
You know, like we wouldn't do that as humans, right?

00:05:45.600 --> 00:06:04.240
So we can't expect animals to, but I applaud you and your husband putting in the work and allowing a dog who obviously has just general anxiety around things, be happy and live in a safe and positive environment because not all dogs get to have that safe place.

00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:06.800
Yeah, she was.

00:06:06.959 --> 00:06:07.439
Thank you.

00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:08.240
I loved her.

00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:12.879
She was just such a sweet, expressive dog, but she had a lot of issues.

00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:14.639
She was a door dasher.

00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:16.720
So we never broke her at that.

00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:21.759
The minute the door opened, I got very good with the arms and legs, the door.

00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:29.360
Yeah, I had a dog growing up that if the gardeners didn't lock the gate, she was off on a little adventure.

00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:30.879
Yeah, and it's terrifying.

00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:38.639
And then the last thing about this dog is that because she had been an outdoor dog before we got her, she was an indoor dog with us.

00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:41.439
In Arizona, you can get valley fever.

00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:43.120
I don't know if you get that in California.

00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:47.920
So it's like mold spores that grow in the dirt, and then it goes into your respiratory system.

00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:52.959
Well, because this dog was so dramatic, she was just a very dramatic dog.

00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:55.759
Took her into the vet for something else.

00:06:55.839 --> 00:06:59.519
And then the vet asked me some questions and what else is going on with her.

00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:06.160
I said, she's been limping, and I she's kind of a dramatic dog, but she was kind of holding her pod, looking at me.

00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:08.560
And I said, I don't know if this is her being dramatic.

00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:21.040
He goes, Let's just take x-rays and case and she had bowel fever, and it had gone into her, you know, yeah, and ended up having seizures because it went into her central nervous system.

00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:27.759
And so she was on a lot of medications, and that's what finally killed her was all the medications that she was on.

00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:32.879
And one day she just laid down and we and didn't get back up, and we had to take her in.

00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:36.639
But I think you have to be prepared for that, you know what I mean?

00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:37.839
And what's your game plan?

00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:39.439
And you know, right.

00:07:39.680 --> 00:07:55.279
Yeah, so much of what you said is important, you know, especially if it's someone's first pet or adding a pet, like you have to think about the time they need, the space, and how to introduce pets, all those things, plus the medical side, you know, you never know what could come up.

00:07:55.519 --> 00:07:58.720
And one of my childhood dogs, champ, he had seizures.

00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:01.839
When it first happened, we didn't know what was happening.

00:08:02.079 --> 00:08:06.720
And so he was on medication for his seizures for probably a decade of his life, right?

00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:07.040
Yeah.

00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:13.040
And so in the end, it was the medication caused other problems that ended up he had to be put to sleep.

00:08:13.199 --> 00:08:17.120
But you know, you never know, and that can look different for different animals.

00:08:17.199 --> 00:08:21.920
But the valley fever thing is really interesting because I never thought about the animals can get it.

00:08:22.079 --> 00:08:26.240
It actually is very prevalent where I live in Bakersfield in California.

00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:32.000
There's actually some of the doctors here that did some of the early research with it because there's so much of it in our soil.

00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:34.720
I'm third generation on my mom's side, born and raised here.

00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:37.120
So we've been here for a while.

00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:42.799
And so she grew up here and she had no idea that at some point when she was a child she had valley fever.

00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:47.279
She was sick at different times, but it was never diagnosed back in the 50s and 60s.

00:08:47.519 --> 00:08:56.960
But when she was an adult living in Santa Barbara, she had several incidents where she couldn't breathe and her lung had collapsed.

00:08:57.120 --> 00:09:09.120
And it was after the second or third time then they did tests, they realized she had all these scars from valley fever, and she actually had to have part of her lung taken out because it would just keep doing that if she hadn't.

00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:11.360
And so, you know, those are things like that.

00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:13.279
I never even thought that a pet could get it.

00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:15.519
So that was just a very interesting you bringing that up.

00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:18.159
I'm like, wow, I would have never even thought of that.

00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:32.639
So you mentioned you recently lost a dog, and so I don't know how much you want to talk about that, but I know that one of the things I have found in this podcast is talking about our pets, especially the ones we've lost.

00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:36.559
Sometimes it's, you know, healing to get to share them and talk about them.

00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:41.840
And it's also important for other pet parents to hear that it's okay if you're not okay.

00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:49.120
It's okay if you're struggling with an older pet or a pet that's sick, or you've lost a pet and you're not ready to get a new one.

00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:52.480
You know, those are important things for us to talk about and be like, it's okay.

00:09:52.559 --> 00:09:54.639
It's up to you what feels right to you.

00:09:54.799 --> 00:10:01.279
I'm sure it's a little different for you because you had a pair and you still have one, but we also have to think about the pet that's left behind.

00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:03.039
Sometimes it can really affect them.

00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:07.600
How has that whole transition period of losing a pet been for you?

00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:14.320
I think the loss of this pet was extra hard on me.

00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:26.000
And because, you know, our first dog was the extra medication, and then the next two dogs, one had had to have a splenectomy.

00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:28.399
It's never easy over here.

00:10:28.639 --> 00:10:33.759
So he had to have a splenectomy, and then after, because he had a slow bleed in his spleen.

00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:37.919
And I said to my husband, he looks depressed.

00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:41.519
You look at him, he looks depressed, he doesn't look quite right.

00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:44.799
And I he's like, He's a dog, he's not depressed.

00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:51.519
And I'm like, so I took him to the vet, and then they did some tests, and he had this little bleed in his spleen.

00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:59.279
So I guess two things I think being really observant and in tune with your dog can save your dog's life, right?

00:10:59.440 --> 00:10:59.759
Yeah.

00:10:59.919 --> 00:11:04.720
The other thing is, like you said, so then the buddy, the next one, had stomach cancer.

00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:11.200
So it was kind of these things that happened, and then we kind of knew that they had this limited time.

00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:20.559
With Flanders, he had LARPAR, so he had to have a laryngeal tie back so that he could breathe because he was starting to sound like Darth Vader.

00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:29.840
Yeah, and so but maybe the universe knows that you guys will really take care of them, even if it's something crazy.

00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:35.200
Because you know, I hear all the time animals get taken to shelters because they can't afford medical care and things like that.

00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:39.919
So somebody knows that you guys will go the extra mile for your dogs.

00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:42.320
My gosh, well, the family.

00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:48.320
I mean, you wouldn't let a family member suffer, but then also at some certain point, you've got to say, this is too much.

00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:51.200
We weren't sure how long he was gonna last, but you know what?

00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:59.200
Two years that gave him two extra, very good years, except for a few bouts of pneumonia because they can aspirate.

00:11:59.279 --> 00:12:01.759
So you have to be very careful about drinking and feeding.

00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:08.480
And so in the early post-surgery, I grieved multiple times because he'd lay on the floor and I thought he was going.

00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:10.720
I'm like, this is it, he's dying.

00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:14.399
And because he really did look like he was dying.

00:12:14.639 --> 00:12:17.759
And so it was a long kind of two years.

00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:24.799
I enjoyed every minute that we could with him, but then he started to slow down because he was 14 by the time you know we had to put him down.

00:12:25.039 --> 00:12:35.600
The trauma of we have a vet that we've been going to for over 20 years.

00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:47.919
Uh not the vet that owned the practice had sold it to like a corporate model, but you know, that the vet that we had there had been carried for all our pets.

00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:53.600
So they care, you know, she cared for Buddy and Trigger and Flanders and and then again.

00:12:53.840 --> 00:13:03.600
And I think the hardest part is when I we called to say we were having this problem and that because of their business model, they weren't going to take him in.

00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:05.759
They just said go to the emergency room.

00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:10.399
And that was heartbreaking for me because this dog really hated the emergency room.

00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:12.480
Because we'd been there for, you know what I mean?

00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:22.240
And so we kind of went the rounds of trying to find a place to, you know, take him that would be feel like the right place to take him.

00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:29.200
We ended up at another corporate model kind of emergency clinic that was way better than the other ones that we had been going to.

00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:32.799
And it was a very lovely, peaceful passing, and they were great.

00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:37.200
But I think that I just felt so let down by our long-term vet.

00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:39.360
And it wasn't hurt, you know what I mean?

00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:40.080
Right.

00:13:40.879 --> 00:13:49.679
You know, even when you try to get in, it's like a week out for and that is, you know, one of the big issues in the US.

00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:55.759
On top of the overpopulation crisis and how many animals we have with not enough homes, there aren't enough vets.

00:13:55.919 --> 00:13:58.720
There aren't enough vets that can take new clients.

00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:02.240
I've even read there aren't enough vets in school becoming vets.

00:14:02.320 --> 00:14:04.399
Like we don't even have enough in the pipeline.

00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:10.720
I've had people tell me here locally where I live that they've called around and can't even find a vet to take in a new patient.

00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:14.080
Like you said, with emergency vets, they're so overrun.

00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:17.519
They'll say, sure, come, but you're gonna have to wait in the parking lot for eight hours.

00:14:17.759 --> 00:14:21.600
The system doesn't make it easy for those of us who are trying to help.

00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:31.120
And so that kind of makes it even more difficult for new people to adopt, too, when they don't have good resources to support them and their pets.

00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:32.320
Yeah.

00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:38.399
I mean, gone are the days that you say, Oh my gosh, you know, my dog injured his foot and can't walk.

00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:41.440
And then they say, Okay, we can squeeze them in at this time.

00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:42.159
Can you come?

00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:42.879
You know what I mean?

00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:47.360
So because everything's so spaced out, they don't want anyone together.

00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:55.360
I think that's part of the difficulty, but then also for us emotionally is the roller coaster of not knowing, or is this the right time?

00:14:55.519 --> 00:14:56.480
What do they need?

00:14:56.720 --> 00:14:57.840
They can't tell us.

00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:04.879
And even when we're really in tune and we can tell something's wrong, we can't always figure out what it is, and that's so hard.

00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:18.080
And what I have learned is sometimes the anticipatory work grief going through the end or medical issues is almost harder than the loss because you're just you're up and down and unknown, and you feel like, isn't it?

00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:21.519
And you mentioned you would look at them lying there and think, Did he pass?

00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:29.919
We've had that happen with one of our cats, and I'm just like, this isn't sense that I can't handle keeping, but you know, it's so hard.

00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:32.639
So I can imagine, yeah.

00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:38.480
Yeah, and that dog, he he'd lived a good life, he'd been through a thing or two as well.

00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:39.919
They are our family.

00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:44.159
We make pets our family, and we would never not do what we're doing for them.

00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:48.320
But um, we still go through that part of the grief process.

00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:53.279
So for you with your most recent loss, how has it been having the other dog still?

00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:57.919
Is that a good support for you, or does that almost make it harder in some ways?

00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:04.720
No, it's in some ways, yes, because I'll have these moments where, you know, because they did funny things together.

00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:08.399
And so I would, you know what I mean, because it's kind of like a routine, right?

00:16:08.559 --> 00:16:11.600
And you kind of expect and you're like, oh, but he's gone.

00:16:11.759 --> 00:16:12.320
You know what I mean?

00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:14.399
And so you have I have a lot of those moments.

00:16:14.559 --> 00:16:23.120
But it's interesting how with both pairs of dogs, how when the first one died, the second, the remaining dog changes.

00:16:23.360 --> 00:16:28.639
They change, they're sad for a little while and they're looking for their friend.

00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:38.080
But then in my in our case, the survivor, I guess, for lack of a better term, um, is more becomes more affectionate.

00:16:38.240 --> 00:16:39.600
They become more cuddly.

00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:43.200
They were in your ride or die before, but they were really like, you know what I mean?

00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:45.600
Because I think they don't have the competition anymore.

00:16:46.159 --> 00:16:48.000
We're not gonna cause shenanigans now.

00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:50.320
We're just like, here, pay attention to me.

00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:59.360
You know, that is so true because things adjust, but in some ways it's nice because you get to maybe even see a little bit different side of their personality, too.

00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:06.559
Yeah, and I thought that was really interesting because I saw a side of Finnegan that I didn't really see.

00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:19.119
Maybe I noticed a little bit when we first adopted him, but he he morphed into a different dog, and he's just he was always sweet, but he does these really super cute kind of different things.

00:17:19.279 --> 00:17:20.240
And he's very snuggly.

00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:23.200
He wants to just get up there and snuggle and so that's his nice.

00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:31.200
Well, and I one thing that I've actually learned too is that the animals also sense when we're going through things, right?

00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:34.880
Yeah, they can tell when we don't feel well or something's off.

00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:53.200
When I lost one of my first cats and I brought his remains home, and I kind of sat it on the bed, and I didn't expect to have this overwhelming emotion as I, you know, took out and the paw print, and my other cat came up and like rubbed on the box, and then that broke me even more.

00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:57.839
But it's like it's that connection we have that is why we love them.

00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:02.079
But it's also so interesting when we see the response of the other pets.

00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:04.400
Yeah, it's interesting.

00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:08.880
I had a job that I just really made me cry.

00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:12.480
And when I had those dogs, yeah.

00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:18.000
So, and that's where the dog actually, I that my friend that had the dog that was that job.

00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:24.079
And it just got to to the point where there was a couple weeks there where I cried every night when I got home.

00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:28.240
And so I was sitting there crying on the like I don't even know what made me cry.

00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:30.079
I'm watching TV, and I just start crying.

00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:34.400
My husband's at work, and Dutch just had this spot behind the couch.

00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:36.880
It was like this little cubby for her.

00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:42.160
And I think that I must have started sniveling, making some sort of noise, and she came around.

00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:45.440
And because I'm allergic, I don't let the dogs lick me.

00:18:45.519 --> 00:18:48.480
And I pet them and I snuggle them, but no licking.

00:18:48.720 --> 00:19:25.279
And so she came up and it was the sweetest thing, and she kind of like looked around the couch and then she moved forward, and then she gently put a paw on my leg because I was laying like this on the couch, and she put her nose up to my face and didn't touch, but came so close, and you know, it was just like it still gets me to this day because it was like she's comforting me because I was just so miserable, and then she kind of just curled up next to me on the couch, and it was just like, gosh, I can really sense things.

00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:28.480
I mean, oftentimes I'll say, I don't know how people exist without a pet.

00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:29.920
Like, how do you function?

00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:31.759
Because I need them in those ways.

00:19:31.920 --> 00:19:39.599
Like, I need the I lay down to watch TV and I want to know you're right here and I can pet you, or I had a cat that would always take one paw and put it on my shoulder.

00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:45.759
Like those are the little things that make it all why we why we do this, and while they're family, also, right?

00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:50.960
They're such a part of our all of our experiences, good and bad.

00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:55.680
So, for you as a writer, we haven't talked about that.

00:19:55.839 --> 00:20:00.000
You write fiction, and can you talk a little bit about that?

00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:02.720
And how did you use animals in your writing?

00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:06.480
Do you like to add animal characters into your writing?

00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:07.759
I do.

00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:21.599
And so here's the funny thing: the first book, I had a donkey that we went out to Oatman, and Oatman's a it's classified as a village, which it has a like 27 people or something live there.

00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:26.079
It's a former mining town that hippies had moved into in the 70s.

00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:33.359
It's kind of a touristy place, but the burrows that they released that the miners used to use, they live in the hills there.

00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:35.200
And so they come into the town.

00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:40.000
And so my younger son and I went out there all excited to see these.

00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:44.000
And there was some sort of incident, and so we only saw a handful of them.

00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:49.920
But when I came home, I had been writing this scene about I write a historical western.

00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:56.000
And so there's this character called Riley, and he's one of the gang members who's bad.

00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:57.680
Nobody likes him in this gang.

00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:05.119
But they there's a story about him trying to, he hates this white burrow that keeps coming, and people feed him.

00:21:05.440 --> 00:21:09.839
And so he's gonna ride this burrow, and he gets bucked off.

00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:18.400
And it's so I I told a funny story that the other gang members were telling this story about this this incident, and they're layfying about it and laughing.

00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:21.920
And I just so that was the first animal that I wrote in.

00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:47.039
And in the second book, I have a temperamental horse that the hero rides, and he's just kind of a character in and of himself, and then there's this giant wolfhound mix that adopts the hero, and he's trying to tell him something, but between this dramatic dog and this temperamental horse, that through line that went through, and I really entertained myself with that.

00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:48.559
I really like this caregiver.

00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:57.039
I love that, and I have a feeling those temperamental personality animals might have a little bit of some of your dogs in them.

00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:03.920
Yeah, you know, the one, and it started with the dog that we have right now, still Finnegan.

00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:08.559
He doesn't like, he came to us not liking baths, like he's terrified of water.

00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:24.079
And I think it's from being in the county pickup, he was astray, and then they get the kennels get hosed out, and he does not like the hose, he does not like water, and so giving him a bath is really not fun for anybody.

00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:26.880
Just you know, sometimes they're just like, no, I don't like it.

00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.079
You're not doing it.

00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:30.319
Yeah, he really doesn't like it.

00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:35.279
He's gotten better, but it still requires two people to give him a bath.

00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:37.119
One person cannot do it on their own.

00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:43.440
And so I did write a scene where Jimmy the hero is like, You smell dog.

00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:49.119
You you you you can bunk with me, but you cannot, you can't do it until you get a bath.

00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:51.759
And so he takes him down to the river to give him a bath.

00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:59.279
And the one thing that I did take from that dog is that he gives me moon eyes, half moon eyes, you know, when they look at the cube.

00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:03.039
So that dog keeps giving Jimmy that look.

00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:04.880
And so that's from Oh yeah.

00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:17.359
I love that because one of the things I've learned about storytelling, however, it is podcasting, writing, that, you know, a lot of it is us telling our story, is leaving a part of our legacy.

00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:24.400
So you've created these characters, including animals, that are a little piece of you and your animals and your experience.

00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:33.359
So I love how you can kind of reflect back on that and think of how the story you've written has come from your own little dog buddies, too.

00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:51.519
So for you as someone who's recently lost a dog, if someone's listening and they are going through that kind of uncertain time or they've lost one, what is maybe one little thing you would say to them that's helped you through your griefing process?

00:23:56.000 --> 00:24:07.680
I think for me, when we had to put Duchess down, the first dog, it was very hard for me because I just, even though she laid down and didn't get back up, I just felt like what if.

00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:14.799
And I think that, like you said before, when you love your animals so much, they're such a part of your family.

00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:19.759
You just kind of have to trust yourself and your team that you made the right choice.

00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:27.440
And I think that the what ifs you're going to do it, but it needs to stop.

00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:34.480
Like you need to allow yourself to give yourself a couple of moments of what ifs or and however long that is, but then you have to stop punishing yourself.

00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:38.319
And you have to remember that dogs do not live as long as humans.

00:24:38.559 --> 00:24:42.240
And they come into your life, they're a gift that comes into your life.

00:24:42.559 --> 00:24:47.920
And the best thing that you can do for them and for you is to know that you did your best.

00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:58.640
Even if you made mistakes, you did your best and hold on to the sweet memories that you have of them, or even the aggravating ones that you can tell stories about because it's the web of life.

00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:09.440
And I think that I'm not saying don't dismiss it, but just don't keep punishing yourself because that I think it's harder to process the grief if you're punishing yourself.

00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:21.119
And we all go through those times where we question and and you know, one of the things I always say try to say to people, like even online when I'm coming in on a post where someone said, Oh, I lost them, or we had we had to let them go.

00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:30.160
It's like, you know, I know you're grieving right now, but you just have to realize you gave them an amazing life, whether it was a week or a year or 10 years, right?

00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:35.200
Sometimes we need a little, like you've been just said, we needed just a little, it's okay.

00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:37.039
The grief is from the love.

00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:38.079
That's what I've learned.

00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:38.240
Yeah.

00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:39.920
All types of grief.

00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:48.400
So we have to feel lucky in having it, but we also have to realize that whatever time we had with them, like we got to give them everything in that moment.

00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:54.400
And it doesn't always make us feel better, but we can hold on to the knowledge that we gave them this great life.

00:25:54.559 --> 00:25:58.400
And in turn, they gave us all these amazing memories.

00:25:59.279 --> 00:25:59.759
Yeah.

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.400
And if you think about it, you know, we always joke about, you know, dogs forget, right?

00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:06.720
In a nanosecond, they forget that you know what I mean.

00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:11.359
You've left and you've come back, and it's just like, oh my God, you've been gone for days, right?

00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:19.119
Then the opposite must be true because the sort of good times that you had, even if you had a week, a week could feel like years to a dog.

00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:19.519
Right.

00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:22.480
And and that is a gift too, you know.

00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:26.160
And I I think we forget how much we I do.

00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:29.839
I forget how much I have to offer.

00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:32.079
I think that we see it in other people.

00:26:32.160 --> 00:26:38.960
Like I would have no problem telling, look, you're offering so much and you're doing all these great things, but I don't give myself that grace.

00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:55.599
And I think that we, if there's any time that you could give yourself that kind of grace, is when you lose a pet and you're in the deep and you did a great thing by giving this animal love, you know, and food and shelter and care.

00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:58.640
Yeah, you know, it's something I had to learn.

00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:03.279
The first kitten I fostered passed away, and it was awful, it was horrible.

00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:05.279
I didn't ever expect that to happen.

00:27:05.440 --> 00:27:11.279
And once I kind of got over the shock of it, it was, you know, my husband say we could bury him here, and then he's here.

00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:16.000
And even though we only had him five days, we were still his family, and he gets to stay here.

00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:24.000
And it was hard, and I would not wish that on anyone, but it was also good for me to realize, you know, we have a cat that's 16.

00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:25.519
We've had him for a long time.

00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:30.000
Even the vet is shocked at how long he's sustained by getting insulin, right?

00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:36.880
So it's good for me to hear that to realize not only did we go the extra mile and continue to, like, it's worth it.

00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:38.720
He gets to sleep all day on the bed.

00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:39.599
Who cares?

00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:41.359
That's what we can give him.

00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:43.599
And so I really appreciate you saying that.

00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:51.119
And I hope that it helps someone listening to this episode because sometimes we just need the little reminder that don't be so hard on yourself.

00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:54.880
You did a good thing, no matter how long you got to have them with you.

00:27:55.279 --> 00:28:02.480
And speaking of that, if you're looking for a new pet, we want to highlight one of your local animal rescues.

00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:05.839
Amy, you mentioned Arizona Animal Welfare League.

00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:16.319
Can you talk a little bit about the so when we got Flanders from there and they have this beautiful facility by the airport, actually.

00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:24.400
And they have a separate area for cats and kittens, and then they have the candles outside for the dogs in the shaded area.

00:28:24.640 --> 00:28:39.599
They were great because we wanted a pair of dogs, and our kids were younger at the time, so they were young, and they let us bring out pair, you know what I mean, get to know a dog, put it back, get to know multiple dogs, and then try to get to to know two dogs together.

00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:45.599
And at the time we didn't adopt two dogs together because we couldn't decide, but we did decide on Flanders.

00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:48.559
So we decided that we could bring him home.

00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:55.359
But the facility is nice, and it was, I don't remember what it was like before that.

00:28:55.519 --> 00:29:06.319
We got our other animals from the Humane Society and then that friend, but they got like a big donation, and that's how they were able to build this facility.

00:29:06.559 --> 00:29:13.519
And the people who work there just really spent nice time with the animals and really get to know them.

00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:19.519
And the one guy that was working the animals, he was just like, he said goodbye to Flanders.

00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:21.279
I'm gonna miss you, buddy.

00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:23.839
And I kind of was like, please.

00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:26.160
That's amazing.

00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.400
A shout out to the Arizona Animal Welfer League.

00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:36.880
But I can say that I've had a little experience of that when I volunteered and worked for a little while in the shelter.

00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:43.519
Is people don't realize a lot of times they're demonized shelter workers, but they are literally the heroes.

00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:53.519
Like they live and breed those animals, they get to know them, they bond with them, and they want them to find homes, but it is also hard because they've gotten to know them.

00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:57.039
They can tell you like this is a good fit if you're looking for this.

00:29:57.119 --> 00:29:59.759
And that's such an important process for organization.

00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:01.039
Like that to have.

00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:11.119
Yeah, I have to say that's what I really liked about it because they would tell us, you know, there was another dog, and they were like, we don't think even on the card, it looked good on paper.

00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:19.519
But then they said, you know, this dog has like XYZ behavior, and you know, and so we had to think about it and say, okay, and they were great.

00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:22.559
They were a great resource and a good source of information.

00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:23.519
So yeah.

00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:24.480
That's great.

00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:28.559
Well, anybody in Arizona looking for a pet will have to check them out.

00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:31.920
But I also think that's a good thing to highlight.

00:30:32.079 --> 00:30:40.319
You know, if you're thinking about adopting an animal, find an organization you feel like is a good fit for you that you feel like is going to give you the support you need.

00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:44.079
Now, not all shelters have time to give a lot of that extra support.

00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:54.960
Find the resources because there are lots of organizations out there wanting to either help you find the right animal or help you once you've adopted with training or how best to take care of them.

00:30:55.200 --> 00:31:05.920
And those are the that's why we want to highlight those and those organizations so that all the animals, you know, find homes and are treated the way the they should be, as the as family.

00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:06.960
Yeah.

00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:16.640
And of course, for you, Amy, and your books and all of your info, we will put those links in the show notes so people can learn more about you, follow you, and hopefully read your books.

00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:18.559
Thank you.

00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:24.079
Well, thank you for being here and sharing some of your pet stories with us.

00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:33.599
I know it's not always easy, especially when we've had a more recent loss, but I know someone's gonna hear this and feel comforted or feel better about their own experience.

00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:37.359
So I really appreciate you coming and being so open with that.

00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:39.359
Yeah, no, thank you.

00:31:39.599 --> 00:31:43.119
It was like you said before, it's nice to talk about it with somebody.

00:31:43.279 --> 00:31:45.440
And so, yeah, it is very helpful.

00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:46.720
So thank you.

00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:58.640
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Story of My Pet Podcast.

00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:02.480
I appreciate you listening and supporting the podcast.

00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:12.720
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00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:23.359
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00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:31.759
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00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:34.480
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00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:41.759
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00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:46.720
Thank you so much for being here, and much love to you and your pet.