Navigating Life with Animals: Insights on Animal Companionship

Welcome And Guest Introduction

Julie Marty-Pearson 0:03

I am your host, Julie Marty Pearson, and I am super excited to bring you this new episode. Thank you so much for being here and supporting the podcast. I hope you enjoy this. Hello, and welcome to a brand new episode of The Story of My Pet. Kristen, thank you so much for being here. Welcome to the Story of My Pet.

Kristin Hadley 0:24

Hi. Thank you so much for having me, Julie. I'm so excited.

Growing Up With Animal Best Friends

Julie Marty-Pearson 0:28

I wanted Kristen to come and kind of talk about her experience as well as what she does to help animals and their families. But before we go there, I always like to start with, were you always an animal lover and did you grow up with pets?

Kristin Hadley 0:43

Yes. I've always been in love. My number one passion has been animals, right? When I was little, they were my best friends. I couldn't wait to, go and snuggle with the cat. My mom would say, where are you? Whatcha doing? I'm snuggling with the cat, hanging with the dog. I wanted a horse so badly and my family, they were animal lovers, but they weren't farm people. I had the poster of the horse on the wall, on the closet. Like he was right in my bedroom. I dreamed about a horse coming through my window and then I ended up having a horse when I was 10. And yeah, animals have always been just my favorite beings.'cause they're easy to be with, they're easy to understand. They love us unconditionally and yeah. We feel good when we're with them. Absolutely.

Julie Marty-Pearson 1:31

Animals are great listeners. Yeah. Yeah. Growing up with pets, it's not something everybody has, you just can't explain it. Like, how could you not grow up with pets and have that being in your life and that connection. I was the same way growing up, so I totally get it. What was your horse's name? My first horse, her name was Snowbird. Aw, I like

Kristin Hadley 1:54

that dapple, gray pony. She is just, yeah, so special, so wonderful. And I've had many horses since then, but my first horse she taught me a lot, you know, and she filled a void that I didn't even know was there. But she came into my life. It was like everything changed, everything got better. And things weren't bad before, you know, so it just made me feel whole.

Julie Marty-Pearson 2:16

I understand my, one of my childhood dogs was that for me too, so I totally get what you're saying. It's amazing how, I think as adults, we reflect back on some of our pets or our experiences with animals and at the time we didn't realize how critical it was for us and who we became so it sounds like animals were always kind of ingrained in you and your personality and were really an important part of your life.

Life With Pets At Home

Kristin Hadley 2:41

I mean, you know, I wanted to be the vet. I wanted to be the horse trainer, but that didn't really feel good'cause I was. Putting things onto them and having to do things to them that they didn't necessarily wanna do.

Julie Marty-Pearson 2:54

Oh, speaking of we can't have a zoom meeting without at least one, maybe two coming by. All of my kitties are in their afternoon nap time, so we may not see that. But I always love a visitor to join us. I think it's important. This is a pet podcast after all. Julie, I'm

Kristin Hadley 3:11

impressed that you have afternoon nap time. That actually gets scheduled because, you know,

Julie Marty-Pearson 3:16

it's kind of a free for all here.

Kristin Hadley 3:18

But

Julie Marty-Pearson 3:18

You know, it's funny because I work from home. My husband doesn't. He gets up very early to go to work, so they get up with him and do stuff and then go back to bed and they'll wake up a little when I get up and do stuff, and then they seem to like really go down and about until about two or three when my husband gets home. So they don't always interrupt, but when they do, it's always a great thing to have them join. I love working from home because of that, being able to connect with them, you get to hang out with them.

Kristin Hadley 3:46

Yes. And because my work is animal based, like they just make everyone feel, you know, my clients, the people who come to classes, it makes them it's how it's supposed to be, right?

Becoming An Animal Communicator

Julie Marty-Pearson 3:57

I had originally gone to school to become a clinical psychologist, and if I had done that, I could see having a one of my cats with me. It brings people's barriers down and their walls down when you have a pet around to pet or talk to, it's an important part of that kind of process I would think. So I can imagine that your clients really enjoy that. It a connecting piece for that. So speaking of that, let's talk about what you do and how you got into being an animal communicator. Sure. What was your journey to having that as your work?

Kristin Hadley 4:32

So it's been the most joyful journey, I will say. I always being connected with animals. I knew that I could understand what they wanted and needed, as we all do at different points. Different levels. And I knew that there was something about this that could help other animals. It could help people understand their animals better and alleviate some things. Frustration, you know, that comes out in bad behavior, comes out in disease in the body. Wellness issues like getting to the root of problems and, early in my life, I just understood these things and my mom would, you know, I'd say, Hey mom, you know, the dog is telling me that she really doesn't like this food. But it was just a knowing, it was something that I knew and I'm like sorry lady, but she's not gonna do anything about it, but I understand you. So that being said was like my dream to, to be that for animals, to be that voice, to be that bridge. And I have a degree in speech language pathology where I was a communication disorder specialist with people. And I found that the people that I worked with and had wonderful successes with were nonverbal people who I could feel them and understand them telepathically. At the time, one of my horses his name was Woody. He and I had a wonderful connection. Still do. He is no longer in his body, but he said to me so clearly one day he said, you need to do this for other people. You have to tell other people about it. You have to share this. And I was like, oh gosh.

Julie Marty-Pearson 6:01

Who's, how do I do that?

Kristin Hadley 6:03

And he said you need to, or you're gonna get sick. Because if I'm doing what you're here to do and you're not living on purpose, then it's gonna come out in different ways. I started. Talking about it, I started teaching people how to do it. I started letting people know that I could help them, and it's turned into a really beautiful business. There are many people on the planet as working as professional animal communicators. I teach people, I train people to do the work professionally, but I also work with clients one-on-one with their animals in certain, problems and situations that they have coming up. What I love so much is what changes not only for the animal, but really for the person when they start to realize and really live in relationship with their animal in a way that their animal is telling them things that they need to know, not just what the animal needs, but sometimes it's about what the person needs. It's just a beautiful process. I love it. It's the best way of living. And yeah, that's my journey.

Julie Marty-Pearson 7:02

When you hear animal communicator, you think of, oh, you're gonna tell me what they're thinking, but really it also is paying attention to what your pet is telling you. But I love what you said is pay attention what they're trying to get you to notice about yourself. Like I remember I had a cat who was very in tune with me, always wanted to be on my lap, and so it was kind of an annoyance. But there were points where he would come and lay down okay, you've done enough of that. You need to like just rest. You need to just take a break, you know? And. I just love that because I think it's important that we pay attention, right? I think sometimes pets are such an ingrained part of their life that we're not always paying attention to them. So sometimes we have to listen, even if we don't realize how It sounds like you're really good at helping people make those connections. Yeah,

Shelter Stress And Rehoming Challenges

Kristin Hadley 7:49

And telepathy it's truly a language, you know, and it's a back and forth exchange, like just what you're saying, Julie, I really like that example. If you lived with human beings and never really understood what they were trying to tell you, there would be a whole lot of frustration and breakdown within the family dynamic. And animals are so wonderful and full of grace and loving that they don't, you know, tear us apart, right? Because they're misunderstood, but, we see what can happen. You know, illnesses go unchecked. You know, behaviors get escalated into real problems here's another one. This is rosy. We have an opportunity to let them live a fulfilling life too, by simply being understood. And I know so much of your work and support is around shelters and helping animals who are in rehoming. Situations, you know? And it's really powerful and important to be able to understand what they went through, not just what we think they went through or putting upon them the emotions that we might have about what they went through, but really hearing from their perspective, what they went through, and then knowing what they want going forward.

Julie Marty-Pearson 9:01

Yeah. I was just talking to someone on the podcast. She adopted a dog from a shelter and she had been returned twice. So when she first met her, she was coward in the corn back corner of the cage and very afraid and very uncertain, even had escaped its foster home at one point and was off on the streets for 18 days until they found her and it was something that would frustrate me so much when I was in the shelter working several years ago, was people didn't understand the behaviors that the dogs especially, were showing, it's like you don't understand what they've been through. You don't understand the stress of just being in a shelter, whether they were on the street or in a home. The shelter is scary, it's loud, it's noisy, it's unknown, and people don't always give pets the time they need to adjust. So I can imagine you deal with a lot of that, whether it's adoption or rehoming or whatever it may be, knowing how best to help a new pet in their new environment, in their new family, to adjust, not always knowing why their behaviors are showing up. And if that's something that's gonna stay is that who they are or is it something we can, work through?

Kristin Hadley 10:07

Yes. I just yesterday had a second session with a client who has her own. Adoption foster process that she does, she really helps a lot of dogs. She's out here, I think she's in Pennsylvania, but near western New York. And there was a dog who had been returned three times from foster situations. She came back to her home to live from foster situations because she would break out of her crate. She was, really stressed high anxiety. And she called me. To work with the dog and work with her to understand what this dog is needing. And it turns out, we have our ideas of why an animal would do something, but until you really hear from them why it's happening, there could be a countless reasons for an animal to be wanting to break out of their crates, her reason was her purpose was being missed. She was being seen as needy. She is not needy. She wants to be needed. She wants to be the nurturer. She wanted to be the one to take care of someone. That wasn't the opportunity in these foster homes. And she was seen as this needy dog. So we talked about that. She went back to the latest foster situation and the people changed the perspective. They started seeing her as more of a leader. They started giving her opportunities to be more independent with the other dogs who were there. She's a completely different dog. Perfect behavior, and they opened up the application process for adoptions. The best family came along and you can't make it up, was all because they started seeing her as she truly is. And unfortunately, so many animals in, rescue, foster shelter situations, they have their own emotions that just being in that space is scary. It's loud, it's confusing. They're feeling because animals feel, that's how they communicate. They're feeling, not just what they've been through. They're feeling what every other animal in the space. Been through.

Julie Marty-Pearson 14:01

That's so true. And because, shelters my local one that I worked in for a little while, it's big Open spaces, actually used to be some kind of car repair shops, so it's big like warehouse buildings. That have been made to be a shelter and it was built to have a dog in each cage in each run, but now there's two or three in each half run because of how overpopulated the area is. And it is so loud. It's overwhelming smells and noises and they're constantly cleaning and moving so it is an overwhelming environment for me as an adult human. So I can't even imagine what it feels like for the animals being brought into that it's unknown. They don't understand, and they either were on the street or they were in a home. And so no matter what, it's completely different to anything they know. So yeah, people don't realize how hard that is and how much of the energy they take on. And one of the things I was just talking about with them was those first couple days when they're out of the shelter, sometimes they won't eat. Sometimes they sleep for days. They're finally in a quiet, more comfortable environment. And I remember one dog got brought back after we had adopted it out on the weekend and the shelter told us, they said it wasn't active enough. They wanted a dog that would be active with their son, and we're like, it's exhausted. That dog needs time to heal and rest and repair. It could be the best dog for your son. You just have to give it time. So I can see so many instances where what you do can really help people. And ultimately what is important to us is helping the animal, right? Yes.

When Behavior Signals A Health Issue

Kristin Hadley 15:42

You know, it's so at the education piece, a couple of things around the education and supporting animals in those situations, like the more that we can explain to people, it is a process, and it is not days, it's not weeks, it's months. For an animal to really decompress and become themselves and feel safe, it's a beautiful place for animal communication because it can move that along, which just helps everyone understand each other better, the humans, the animals, but regardless, there is that decompressing time and that acclimation time and just healing, you know? Which brings me to another thought and concept about the work that I do. I offer healing sessions for ALS and shelters because of the overwhelm, because of the trauma, the loss the mixed emotions, just the overwhelm, all the things that you were explaining Julie. It's so helpful, and I say to people all the time, you know, you can be that healing vehicle, also that healing person, but just showing up in neutrality. And feeling love for them. Not dumping love on them.'cause sometimes, animals can be like that. That's a lot I've already got Right. Mine and now you're trying to love me more and I'm not ready for that. But just simply accepting however they are. So this dog who is just kinda shut down, you know, like just hey, just being who he is and. And really seeing them for that, you know, and so many people who work with the Fosters and in shelter situations, they get that automatically. And I will say this, sometimes people come in automatically feeling sorry for animals, and that's not helpful either, right? Because if you let's say you had gone through something and I saw you, and I'm like, oh, Julie. You poor thing. You just look awful. It's must be breaking your heart. This is my friend Juliet. She's going through a really hard time. Don't talk to her. She's really suffering. You're like, oh my God, I thought I was doing better,

Julie Marty-Pearson 17:42

but I'm really not, so true. And we as humans do that to each other for sure. But yeah, we're like transferring our, either our emotion or what we assume they're feeling when we don't really know. Like you can't put that on them. And definitely showing up neutral because one of the things we would often say at those events would, people are asking or adopting would be like. Realize this is not necessarily who they are, like how they act in a shelter or even in a crate at an event somewhere. It's different in different environments. They need time to, you gotta give them time so you can see their true personality and behaviors. But I also know that one of the big things I think all of us struggle with as pet parents is. Understanding what our pets needs when there's a new behavior that isn't normal or something's going on with them, that we're trying to figure out like, what is this? What's happening? Is it telling us something? Is it something going on within their body? Especially dealing with pets with medical issues. I know we struggled with that a lot. Years ago with one of our cats, Charlie, he would start peeing outside the litter box and we could not fig like, why are you doing this? And they tested, they couldn't find anything wrong. I said, maybe he has a urine infection. You know, we went through all these things and ultimately it turned out either it got worse enough to show up or they found it was he was diabetic. And so he needed certain things from us in terms of what he ate, where his litter box was, you know, for a couple years I've been giving him insulin shots twice a day. So for that experience, for me, and I've been through different ones with different animals, but that's what comes to mind in it was really hard for us'cause we knew it meant something was wrong. But trying to figure out what that was and also then communicating with the vet we know this is wrong. Something has to be going on. And so I can see how invaluable what you do is for those cases, because it's so hard when we can't understand what's happening. Why are you not feeling well? Why are you behaving this way? We wanna help them, but we can't always figure it out very easily.

Clear Messages And Calm Energy

Kristin Hadley 19:43

Yeah, exactly. And we can save everybody, right? Like it, it can save by hearing from the animal and understanding what they're experiencing, it can save everybody a lot of time. A lot of expense, a lot of unnecessary struggle, you know, I think how many times? Frustration on our part and theirs. Yes. Yes. You know, I mean, I, I say sometimes, you know, just imagine you were talking to someone and they could not absolutely could not understand you and you didn't have hands that could go like this, and facial experiences that can show all that.

Julie Marty-Pearson 20:18

That's a great floofy tale though, I have to say.

Kristin Hadley 20:20

He is amazing. You know, and and this is what I was gonna say about that, that how many animals the veterinary professionals that I know are amazing. We need veterinarians. I, they have, I mean, they're amazing, right? I'm not right in anything negative about them, but when you don't know. How many animals have unnecessary antibiotics, unnecessary doses of steroid, unnecessary surgeries, you know?

Julie Marty-Pearson 20:48

Charlie, he's always been an anxious being. He doesn't like change or new things. He's just always been that way. And so taking him to the vet was always very difficult and it got to the point where they had to sedate him to be able to examine him and take urine and do all those things. And I. Hated putting him through that one, just putting him through the stress of all of it. But I also know, putting your pet under anesthesia is not something I wanna do all the time. It's not always great for them. And so like you're saying, it's like I don't wanna put him through stuff he doesn't need. If I can figure out what's wrong with him. And I know so many pet parents that have that struggle at different point with their animals because we wanna help them, but we also have to test to figure out what's wrong. So there's this like kind of cyclical process. Yeah.

Kristin Hadley 21:37

Julie, you mentioned something there too that I think this is helpful for people is, we think about communicating with animals to understand what they want us to know. There's also the other flip side of that responsibility is conveying clearly as communicators ourselves, each and every one of us communicates with our animals what we want them to know and understand. In those situations that are high stress or they're anxious, creates worry in us, what we are sending them in terms of concept and messages and emotion. We have to be really careful. Because if you have an anxious animal, I'm not saying this was you, but what happens, right? I will

Julie Marty-Pearson 22:18

be the first to admit that I did not always handle it. I would get so frustrated I'd be chasing him around the house. There was no good in the situation.

Kristin Hadley 22:28

And that's normal. And I'm thinking about my kids when they were little same. It's the same thing. Our energy transfers to them, however our messages transfer to them. And if I'm feeding off of what they are thinking or what I think they're thinking, he thinks he's gonna die. He thinks he's gonna get locked in a cage, never come out. Overwhelming there with the smells and all the stuff, like I'm just feeding that fear. And I have an example, if you have a cat who scratches your chairs or your couch or whatever, and you say to them. Don't you dare scratch that chair. Do not scratch that chair. And in my mind, what am I picturing? I'm picturing him going over to the nice green upholstery and tearing it apart. He's saying scratch the chair. You want me, you need the chair and me with the claw, so I'll scratch the chair. Okay. Got it. We're these things by not being clear about what we want? Animals do so beautifully when we get clear, and that's one of the things, communicating with animals, it's not, it is about the animals. It's about helping them and their people, but it helps us as humans develop into saying what we really mean. About what we really want, and as

Julie Marty-Pearson 23:42

human beings, we don't do that. You know, oh my God, the world would be a much better place if we all just said explicitly and simply what we need or want, or whatever.

Kristin Hadley 23:53

I mean. How many times have you gone to someone and said, no, I'm not upset with you. I'm not upset. I'm fine.

Compassion And Breed Bias

Julie Marty-Pearson 24:01

Yeah. And also as humans, we learn as we get older how to read people's faces and body language and all those things that give us clues if it's not in tune with what someone's saying. And so with pets, we have to do that too. It's funny, one of my cats. She's not super lovey, doesn't get on my lap. She'll lay around my legs and things like that. But when I take her to the vet, she wants to be in my arms with her head under my arm, and that's where she feels safe, right? And so sometimes they're telling us things that we may not realize that is different in different situations or environments. And I think with pets, a lot of times it's vets because there's a lot of anxiety around that. But even, I know when we moved from our apartment into our house, that was a transition for our cats. They had only ever lived in this apartment. They knew the space. We brought'em in a new place. You know, it's stressful. So there's a lot of changes that can happen for our pets that we may not realize can be affecting their behavior, how they're eating, all those kind of things. Yeah, for sure. So much, one of the things I always said, and it's come up in a lot of the interviews on the podcast, is, you know, what if that was you? What if you had a home for your whole life that was a certain way, looked a certain way, smelled a certain way? Had certain people and all of a sudden you were taken from there into some new place you didn't understand. And then from there, another new place. Or another new place, like you're not gonna just be okay in a day or two, you're gonna take time to investigate, understand, get to know, and so I would say as a person, would you be able to respond that quickly? And so I think I can understand how much of your work is really getting people to underst. Put themselves in the animal's place and understand what they've been through and how they're feeling and how that is a part of their behavior or whatever it may be.

Kristin Hadley 25:56

I love that, Julie. Absolutely. It's about learning compassion. And you know, if this world, we all practice

Julie Marty-Pearson 26:04

compassion. Yeah. Empathy is not in abundance in our world at the moment. For sure. You know, and empathy

Kristin Hadley 26:11

compassion are different things, right? I'll sell compassion because, you know, compassion is, it, and the animals, they teach us this, but it's also I love this aspect. So often people have great tolerance for animals. And we tolerate differences between ourselves and our animals. We tolerate idiosyncrasies in our animals. Some people don't. Some people have breed bias. So many people that I meet who have beliefs about. Other human beings are all inclusive about animals. And I'm like, wait a minute. We are all the same. Animals are just like us. They don't have hands that do this unless they are raccoons or primates, and like they teach us acceptance. They teach us about each other. They teach us about ourselves, yes. And I call it, you know, the animals are leading the underground peace movement. They really are,

Julie Marty-Pearson 27:09

you know? And you know, it's funny because. Some people have compassion for animals when they don't for people. But then there's also people that don't have compassion for animals. It's like this is not just, an object or food or whatever it may be. And that's always something I've struggled with since I was little with eating meat was like, but no, it's a being. It. It's a animal. It's not just a product on a shelf. So I totally get what you're saying, that sometimes we can be so compassionate for our animals, but we can't for humans. But then sometimes people don't realize how much you have to listen to your animals and give them what they need. But you said something which is huge in rescue and shelters everywhere is breed bias, where people want a certain look or a certain breed because well, all golden retrievers are like this. And it's like that may be true, but every animal is different, right? Every animal is coming from a different mixture of who their parents were, whether they are breed specific or not. So I'm sure you deal a lot with, they expect a breed to be a certain way and they're not. And so they come to you and say, fix it. Like, why aren't they doing what, a shepherd should do? Or whatever it may be, right?

Kristin Hadley 28:17

Yeah. Yes, definitely. And you know, we can create those projections again, those things that we project onto animals where people assume that. You know, all labs are gonna love the water, or all thoroughbred horses are, you know, high strung and need a ton of exercise and eat a lot of food or you know, pit bulls that the bully breeds have certain tendencies. And, those, do we wanna say that about people? I mean, that's one of the problems we're in right now.

Julie Marty-Pearson 28:47

We love to I mean, obviously stereotype, but it's also I think there's comfort in people or animals fit in boxes. This is where you fit and this is where, but that's not how any of us are. We all have idiosyncrasies. We all change as we get older. Same with pets, same with people. And you know, I think that's a frustration for many of us trying to. Educate or help people through something, but we also have to have compassion for the fact that people are learning too. We can't assume they know how to take care of a pet if they've never had one before. So there's also that type of compassion and understanding that, wait, you don't get it because you don't know how I can help you with that. Yes. Yes.

Opening Your Mind Beyond “Pet Types”

Kristin Hadley 29:26

I mean, I just have loved over the past, you know, 30 years of doing this work. The changes, the growth, the expansion that has happened in the world of living with animals. I don't call animals pets. Because there's this concept of animal liberation, right? Seeing them as their own individual beings but the whole process of living an interspecies lifestyle, my animals are my people, just like my human animals are my people. We are all animals, and one of the things. Julie, that I think is so cool. When people come and they take classes or they come for consultations and they start seeing their animals in a different way. Seeing them for more of who they are, their appreciation, acceptance, and love of other species starts to expand as well. People who hated spiders or were terrified of snakes, they'll say to me, you know. I used to smash the bugs or kill the flies or the wasps or smash a spider, and he said, I can't do it anymore. Like I know because they're like us. They're just in a different body, you know?

Julie Marty-Pearson 30:31

And it's funny, that makes me think when I was little, I already knew that that was what was in my head. When we'd see cows, I'd be like, oh, I wanna pet them. And it's wait, why don't you get that? Like sometimes it's an eight in us, but other people don't have it. And we're like, I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Kristin Hadley 30:44

I just taught a class today and one of the animal teachers was a dog who was showing us. Things through his perspective, right? And when we can just look through another perspective, it's kind of like going on vacation, you know? It's seeing the world differently, right? The food tastes different, the sounds are different, the experience is different, and we learn. We can learn from them about ourselves and the things that we think are true. Like you said, I love that. I've been talking about this lately too. We, as human beings, as human animals, like to put things in boxes. This is a good box. This is a bad box. This is a box. I like, this is a box I don't like. And it's so limiting. So limiting. It's limited to others. It's limiting to ourselves. It's extremely limiting to animals. Yes.

Respect, Consent, And Body Language

Julie Marty-Pearson 31:34

Yeah. You know, it made me think of when I meet people or talk to people in a variety of ways, but they'll be like, they have to say, oh I don't like cats. I'm a dog person. Or vice versa. And I'm like and it's funny because growing up I only had dogs. My mom always said she was allergic. Which she was. There was one time we went to someone's home and they had longhaired cats and, oh God, her face, like she reacted very badly, but so we'd never had cats. And then as an adult, I got my first kitten and when I put him down on the floor at her house, she like jumped on a chair and I went. Okay, this is not just an allergy. And so we've decided that her brother probably did something tormenting with a cat at one point, and she's, you know, held that. But she's become a nana now to multiple cats. She, pets them and learns about them and asks me questions. So she's been opened up by my experience and her learning about cats and realizing, oh, they are pets, like our dogs were they're beings that interact with us and have personalities and all these things. So I've seen her expand in that way by me opening up to something new. And so I think that is so important to all of us as humans is you can't say negative or put people in boxes if you've never experienced them or their country, their language, their culture, their food, whatever it may be, because. We don't know things we haven't experienced or been a part of. And I definitely see that with animals where people are like, oh no, I only like this or that. It's you're limiting your experience and what you could be open. Like I love my cats. I love dogs too, but I am a cat person. They like naps and snacks tho. They are my people, my husband one day brought home a baby possum that had been found inside a classroom. He's a carpenter for a school district, and he was afraid something bad would happen to it if he didn't take it home. William, the possum, lived with us for nine months what I loved about it is I learned so much about possums. You know, you always hear negative things like they're bad creatures. They'll hurt my dog or cat or whatever. And first of all, they're very cat-like in a lot of their behaviors. And so for me, that experience made me realize, I thought possums were bad. I thought we wouldn't want them. It could hurt, but they're not. They're actually wonderful creatures who eat things that we don't want, like termites and other bugs. They don't carry diseases which many people think they do. And it also made me realize that I don't always have an open mind to things even within the world of animals that I've always loved. So I can imagine for you how transformative what you do with people can be for them to kind of put their wall down, but also open themselves up to learning something new.

Kristin Hadley 34:23

Yeah. For sure. It's healing all the way

Julie Marty-Pearson 34:26

around,

Kristin Hadley 34:26

right?

Julie Marty-Pearson 34:27

Oh, my husband loved that possum, and I always joked that pasta meets better than I do. Like he got his. Scrambled eggs with shells in it because he needed that for some nutrients that he had. He loves learning, he loves research, but he loves taking care of different animals, and I think sometimes people need to stop and step back and allow themselves that. To learn, to grow, to realize that whatever animals in their life may need something different than they would even know to give them. So I could see how that would be an important part of the work you do with people.

Kristin Hadley 35:04

You know, that made me think of something, just stopping to respect. What do you need? I can respect what you need. And herein comes with, the animals we live very closely with, and sometimes God love them. They allow us to kind of have our way with them. When they're like, I really need to be alone. And we're like, oh, I love you. I love you. And they take it and other times they will scratch you or bite you or move away. And people don't realize. You didn't ask, if I came up to you and I love you, I would wanna hug you, but you don't want me touching your hair and mushing your face and doing, it's like, Kristen, whatcha doing? Stop it.

Labels That Misrepresent Animals

Julie Marty-Pearson 35:42

That's so true. So you can't really tell now'cause it's brushed out. But I have naturally curly hair and. I can't tell you how many times people have come up and touched my hair without asking. I'm like, I'm sorry. And I've never had human kids, but I assume it would be the same. When people wanna touch a woman's bump when she's pregnant, it's guys, we have to ask that this is our body. We don't wanna be touched. But then we do that to our animals. We do that to them, assuming they wanna be pet or scratched or picked up. I've had to learn, especially with my cats. Some cats like it, some cats don't. There are certain spots on each of our cats, they like rubbed more than the others. We learn these little thing with dogs I've had, there's certain things they like, but people don't always give them that space to figure out what that is. They don't ask permission or say, do you like this? And if they don't, then maybe you need to not do it anymore.

Kristin Hadley 36:34

This brings up the you know. Oh, I'm gonna say the wrong word. Anthrop. Anthropomorphizing animals. And assuming that they like something because they are appearing to like it right? When you know, videos of, you know, like the dog and the baby climbing on the dog and pulling on the dog's ears and everybody's oh, this dog is so wonderful. Until he is not. And there are so many signs. So while communication, absolutely telepathic communication, you know, if you could, you can feel okay, this animal he's tolerating, he's not liking. But there are so many other ways that animals try to tell us. It's about respect. You know, just like you're saying, just because he lets it happen doesn't mean that dog likes the pencils up his nose and the baby pulling on his ear and climbing all over him. It's not natural dog behavior has. Past Puppyhood. That's not normal. They're gonna say, shut

Julie Marty-Pearson 37:27

And you know, it's so funny growing up we had a golden retriever, Goldie, she was an amazing dog. My dad found her at our shelter. And they think she was two or three and she was fully trained sit, stay, all that. So somebody lost an amazing dog, but she was so great. I was like. Six, maybe around that age. When we got her, she would let me put a blanket on her. And. When I talk about what a great dog she was, it's like wait, did she like that I did that or did she just allow it to happen? She was a very social dog and loved being around people when we had parties and things. But as an adult now I think about maybe she didn't like it when we let that toddler crawl on her. It wasn't that she was a good dog and enjoyed it. It was that she was tolerant of it. And we never pushed her to the point of her saying, no, I will not do that.

Spotlight On Akron Rescue Cats

Kristin Hadley 38:15

Yeah. And they're all different. That's the thing, right? They're all different just as people, and that's one of the reasons that I really take my work obviously very seriously, and teaching people, I take it very seriously because worse than being misunderstood is being misrepresented. What's happening in our world right now too, and I don't like being spoken for or assuming that these are my beliefs or my thoughts or my feelings. And sometimes people think that they know what an animal feels or is thinking is needing or wanting and it's frustrating. You know, just imagine being spoken for. And I'll give you an example. Like I'll work with a family of humans and animals and they'll introduce their animals to me and they'll say, oh, this is Joe. He is 11. He is a mix like a she mix or something. And he's a rescue. And then they'll say, and this is Fluffy, and she is kind of aloof. She's actually really kind of dim and aloof. I don't know. She doesn't even like being here. And then this is Sherry and Sherry is, oh, she's life of the party and she takes care of everybody, blah, blah. So then I tune in with Joe and Fluffy and Sherry. I get that Joe is like the, he's so sick and tired of being called a rescue. And I'll say, when did you get him? Oh, we got him when he was two. I'm like, okay, that was nine years ago. He's over being rescued. He's right. That's like me saying, you know,

Julie Marty-Pearson 39:40

Hey, this is my friend Julie, and she failed fourth grade.

Kristin Hadley 39:44

But

Julie Marty-Pearson 39:44

she's okay now.

Kristin Hadley 39:45

My God, that is so true. Why are we labeling our animals as rescues? It perpetuates

Julie Marty-Pearson 39:51

There is so much negativity in the world about rescue or shelter dogs and it's like I've talked about with so many people who volunteer in shelters, this idea that only bad dogs or animals go to shelters, it's like there are 10 million reasons why animals end up at shelters and 5% of it is because they're bad or something. And of course, so true

Kristin Hadley 40:12

things happens to them, right? Like right trot outta their backyard and they say, I am so done at this house. I am looking for a new beginning. Right? And they never felt like they were rescued or saved or sheltered. They were just onto the next best thing.

Julie Marty-Pearson 40:27

That is so true. The three cats we have right now, two of them are rescues in that one we found in our yard and one we found in my parents' yard. And then pumpkin was a foster who we adopted from the shelter, but they've lived their whole lives in this home, 10 years, 16 years, two years. They're are family now. So I can totally see what you mean that when we talk about them in that way, those labels don't help anyone and don't help us to really understand them because yes, maybe they were rescued at one point, but now they're in this environment. Now they're a part of a family. That label doesn't have any meaning anymore. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I know we only have a few minutes left. So I want to mention the rescues that you had shared with me. The first one was the Akron Rescue Cats. Can you talk about that?

Spotlight On Buddy’s Second Chance Rescue

Kristin Hadley 41:20

They are a wonderful organization here in Western New York. They're a non-for-profit as most rescues are. And they just do a beautiful job with cats. They have cats in an active housing situation. And then they have people who will foster them in their homes. And I'm currently fostering two kitties here Maddie and Reese from that organization. And I adopted. Our kitty alphabet. She came she's absolutely beautiful. If I picked her up right now, she would jump away, but she's sleeping in the sun on the chair next to me. And they're just a wonderful organization. They really go all in on their animals and I appreciate their work. I respect their work. And I'll just share a quick story. There was a kitten who a friend of mine is fostering. From Akron Rescue Cats, and she ended up having some pulmonary insufficiency because of the diaphragm, the way that her diaphragm developed, and she needed surgery to correct it, or she could always have problems and the problems could get worse. And the shelter did it. They took her for a consult. She was a candidate, and the shelter said. We're all in, and so they really give their all. To the animals, to the cats who come in.

Julie Marty-Pearson 42:35

I love that it's so important. People don't realize how hard it can be to get medical help for fosters or rescue cats or dogs so when I hear about organizations that like really go above and beyond, I love that. And we will put links to Actron rescue Cats in the show notes for anybody who wants to learn more, follow support them. Even just sharing on social media can help a lot of these smaller organizations. Just gain more visibility and help specifically, especially fostering. Oh, fostering is so important. I mean, it's important for all animals, but I've found with cats it's really important because most typical shelters have cats in cages, right? They don't have rooms where they get to roam around. I love it when I hear a rescue does like a coffee bar or a cafe where the cats can move around and meet people, but that doesn't happen a lot. So fostering is really important because it allows them to be more comfortable, but it also allows people fostering to learn more, to get to know them and their personality so they can find a good home. Absolutely. Like you said, you know,

Kristin Hadley 43:34

An animal who lives in a box in a very congested, infusing space. You don't know what you're gonna get when they come out. Yeah.

Julie Marty-Pearson 43:43

They need time.

Kristin Hadley 43:44

I wouldn't

Julie Marty-Pearson 43:44

be happy living in a box,

Kristin Hadley 43:46

No, they need time and yeah. So fostering is really super important.

Julie Marty-Pearson 43:50

Okay. So I wanna mention the other organization you told me about was Buddy second Chat, chance Rescue. What I assume, I mean, I'm assuming Buddy is dogs, but I'm sure it could be any animal.

Kristin Hadley 44:03

Nope, you got it right. You're very intuitive is a it's a dog rescue. They bring dogs up from Georgia and Texas. They bring'em up from the south where there are a lot of high kill shelter situations. They bring'em up here and they have fosters, actually, this is really cool. The fosters choose the dogs that they will take foster. So there's already a connection. And then they come in and they foster them. They don't have a standing shelter situation, so they're fostered in people's homes. And that's how we adopted our dog Fisher,

Julie Marty-Pearson 44:36

okay. By

Grief Support, Contact Info, Closing

Kristin Hadley 44:36

slipping over there on the couch behind me. But just such a really dedicated people who I thought I knew right, who I wanted and who was gonna be, and they saved me from myself because the dog that I thought that was meant for me. She was really highly reactive to cats. And I said, oh, I can handle it. I can handle it, I can train it out of her. I can love it out of her. You know, no, I would've had a dog attached to my hip for the rest of her life. And, you know, they really, they knew their stuff and they really held firm and they said, we think we have a dog for you. He loves kitties at his Foster's house, he snuck into the cat room and was curled up on the cat beds with the cats. I call me and I'm, and they brought and was like, love at first sight and yeah.

Julie Marty-Pearson 45:26

Best. Rescues that do that work, that really put in the time to get to know the animals and make good matches are so important. And the thing is, shelters, especially ones run by cities and governments, you know, don't have time or staffing to be able to do that. So I always say, if that's not right for you, find a rescue. Find a rescue that's gonna spend the time with you making the right match, Second chance rescue. It's also really important'cause I live in California, which is very much like Texas and California are two of the worst states in our country for overpopulation and euthanasia rates. So one of the ways my area and others does is we transport them to states like yours where there is less overpopulation. So there are more available homes and more fosters available. And one of my rescues here, Marley's Muts. They've already transported a thousand dogs this year, and so now they're asking for help to get it repaired so they can keep doing it. So I love that you brought that up because it's so important for people to realize that organizations actually do that. They help with transportation. There are areas that are lower impacted, so they bring them there, and it's so important to support those rescues too, because if it wasn't for them, a lot of us who are so overcrowded wouldn't have spaces. To send dogs or cats, and we need people in those areas to foster, because a lot of them are foster only and they have a, you know, a whole team or system of fosters. So I love that's what they do. And we will put links to both of these amazing organizations in the show notes. People can check them out, follow them, learn more and support them if you can. Oh, I love that. That's perfect. A dog and a cat rescue. Organization to share. So for whatever you wanna support, you have an option.

Kristin Hadley 47:09

Thank you, Julie. Thank you so much.

Julie Marty-Pearson 47:11

Thank you Kristen, so much for being here and sharing your expertise as well as your story and how you help parents and their pets, their animals, their family. I've met with so many people lately that are dealing with grief and loss, whether it's a human or an animal who are struggling with anticipatory grief. You know, with older animals in their lives. So I can see how important your work is, and again, if you wanna get in contact with Kristen, all of her information is in the show notes. Please reach out to her on social or via her website and you can learn more about her classes and the work she does. I think you have a network of animal communicators, so you probably might even be able to help them find someone local if that is something they're looking for. So I appreciate your time and getting to share your story with my listeners.

Kristin Hadley 48:02

Thank you so much, Julie. I appreciate you

Julie Marty-Pearson 48:04

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Story of My Pet podcast. I appreciate you listening and supporting the podcast. And if you haven't already, wherever you are listening to this episode, make sure you hit follow or subscribe and leave us a rating or review. All of that helps the podcast grow and get to even more listeners and help us. Educate and advocate for animals in need around the world. If you haven't done so already, make sure to check out our new YouTube channel story of my pet podcast. Again, hit the subscribe button, give us some likes and comments on our videos, and that will help the podcast grow on its on YouTube. Thank you so much for being here and much love to you and your pets.